I need your help revising some work that I am hoping to submit in my application for a writing program. What works? What doesn’t? What do you like? What do you hate? I promise to take your comments into account as I revise and edit my application pieces. Thanks!
Wishful Thinking- A Novel
I should have guessed something bad was going to happen. The day had been too perfect. The sky had been that unblemished cerulean that makes you want to stop and stare. Tanya had passed by me at school without her usual nasty comments and I had finally earned the “A” I’d been working so hard for in Mr. MacNeil’s class. Too perfect. My stomach began to flip when I saw Aunt Cecilia’s car in the driveway after school. Cecelia- or CeCe as we called her, was dad’s I.C.E.- in case of emergency contact- but she lived on the mainland. She wasn’t in the habit of dropping by and the thought of seeing her made my stomach doa triple axel.
As I walked up to the front door, my heart began to race in my chest. Robotically I started putting my school things away. Bag on hook. Lunch bag on counter. Agenda in mailbox. Time slowed down like it does in the movies as my heart tip-tapped away. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. “Eshana!” Dad called from the backyard- a little too nonchalantly. “Come out here for a sec, will you?” Crap! I plodded towards the back door, my feet felt like I was wearing cement shoes. I forced myself to say hi to Aunt CeCe and gave dad his mandatory after school kiss. Somehow I made myself sit in the vacant chair next to my somber looking aunt. That’s when it happened. Dad dropped his bomb while Aunt CeCe gripped my hand.
“Eshana. I have cancer.” Four little words rocked my world.